I loved you more than you'll ever know
by DeliciousGollum
Summary: "But I couldn't make you see it, couldn't make you see it, that I loved you more than you'll ever know, part of me died when I let you go."


_"_ _Hey, it's Ginny. I can't talk right now, but leave a message and I'll come back to you."_

 _BEEP._

"Okay, look, Ginny; it didn't mean anything, okay? You know how I get when I'm drunk and- _fuck_ \- Shit, I didn't mean to curse, I just... Just call me back okay? We have to talk about this. Call me back."

* * *

 _"_ _Hey, it's Ginny. I can't talk right now, but leave a message and I'll come back to you."_

 _BEEP._

"So, this is like the 19th message I leave on your phone and I'm really surprised it's not full yet. Did you enhance it with magic? Anyway, I know you've been avoiding me. Call me back, _please._ "

* * *

 _"_ _Hey, it's Ginny. I can't talk right now, but leave a message and I'll come back to you."_

 _BEEP._

"This is getting ridiculous. You're 20, I'm 22, Ginny. We can act like adults. You're my best friend, we can work this out. So call me back."

* * *

 _"_ _Hey, it's Ginny. I can't talk right now, but leave a message and I'll come back to you."_

 _BEEP._

"Since I can still leave messages on your phone, I'm assuming you're deleting them as we go. That's not fair. You won't even give me a chance to explain myself. I thought we were friends. _Best_ friends. Look, if you don't want to hear my voice, we can do this by text. I don't mind. Just… talk to me."

* * *

 _"_ _Hey, it's Ginny. I can't talk right now, but leave a message and I'll come back to you."_

 _BEEP._

"Okay, so now I can't even be friends with Harry? He's my friend too, you know. And it's not fair to make him choose. But hey, he's your _boyfriend_ , right? So you know he'll probably choose you anyway. Fuck you, Ginny."

* * *

 _"_ _Hey, it's Ginny. I can't talk right now, but leave a message and I'll come back to you."_

 _BEEP._

"Ginny? Just answer the phone, please. I- I- I- I went to this party and I got really, like really wasted… drunk, I mean, and I can't stop thinking about- about you and that stupid fucking kiss. It ruined everything and fuck I'm so sorry. And I shouldn't be shit- I shouldn't be telling you all this right now 'cause I know I'm gonna regret it tomorrow but I really, really love you. I lov- oh shit my battery is so low. I- I have to go, Ginny. I'm sorry."

* * *

 _"_ _Hey, it's Ginny. I can't talk right now, but leave a message and I'll come back to you."_

 _BEEP._

"Hey. Just ignore the last message I sent you like you ignored all the others. Thanks."

* * *

 _"_ _Hey, it's Ginny. I can't talk right now, but leave a message and I'll come back to you."_

 _BEEP._

"I don't know why I'm even trying anymore. It's been 2 months. You'd think I'd get the hint, right? Maybe you should just tell me to fuck off and we'd both be done with it. Like, some sort of closure or something. Anyway. Bye."

* * *

 _"_ _Hey, it's Ginny. I can't talk right now, but leave a message and I'll come back to you."_

 _BEEP._

"So… it's Fred's death anniversary today. I just wanted to… to say that I'm there, even if you don't want me to be. Tell your mom and dad I said hello. I miss you. I miss him too. God, sorry. I'm making it about myself again. Sorry. Just hum, I'm here. So, yeah."

* * *

 _"_ _Hey, it's Ginny. I can't talk right now, but leave a message and I'll come back to you."_

 _BEEP._

"Happy birthday, Ginny. 21. You can legally drink in the United States in the Muggle world, now. That's kind of exciting, isn't it? Even if you don't live in any of these two things. I wish I could take you to bars. I'd love to see the look on your face. I hope everything's going well right now. Happy birthday."

* * *

 _"_ _Hey, it's Ginny. I can't talk right now, but leave a message and I'll come back to you."_

 _BEEP._

"I heard about your new position in that famous Quidditch team. I'm so happy for you. You deserve it. You deserve everything. Hum, yeah. Congratulations."

* * *

 _"_ _Hey, it's Ginny. I can't talk right now, but leave a message and I'll come back to you."_

 _BEEP._

"Harry told me. About the wedding. I guess that I'm not invited, since I didn't know? Or is my invitation just late? Get Harry to tell me, because I don't want to wait for something that won't be coming. Like the past year. Waiting for your call. Or your text. Or just a "I'm still alive, Hermione." _Harry_ had to show me pictures of the ring he got you. _Harry._ And they were pictures he took in secret. This was supposed to be something we'd share. As best friends. I was supposed to scream with you and help you pick out a dress and reassure you in the middle of the night when you start panicking and just _be there for you_. I- I'm sorry I fucked it all up by kissing you. But you didn't bother trying to make it okay again. So yeah. Have a great wedding. I hope the cake falls on your dress."

* * *

 _"_ _Hey, it's Ginny. I can't talk right now, but leave a message and I'll come back to you."_

 _BEEP._

"By the way, I forgot to say it in my last message, but I'll send Harry a wedding present. Don't you dare throw it away."

* * *

 _"_ _Hey, it's Ginny. I can't talk right now, but leave a message and I'll come back to you."_

 _BEEP._

"Did you try to call me last night? Or was it just a wrong number? Your number was on my phone. Why didn't you block me yet? Do you enjoy all of the stupid messages I keep leaving you? Do you listen to them with your other friends while sipping wine and commenting on how pathetic I am? Well if you're there, Ginny's friends, let it be known that she kissed me back. When I kissed her, she kissed me back. Suck on that."

* * *

 _"_ _Hey, it's Ginny. I can't talk right now, but leave a message and I'll come back to you."_

 _BEEP._

"I- I don't even know why I called you. Actually, yeah, yeah I do. It's another drunk message I'm gonna- _hic_ \- gonna regret tomorrow. He said you're pregnant. Harry. Harry said you're pre-pregnant. You're gonna have a ginger baby, Ginny. Or one with Harry's awful hair. _Ha!_ Will I even get to be its- its aunt? Probably not, right? Wouldn't want to have your lesbian ex best friend around your child. I- I might corrupt him. Or her. It. Whatever. Congratu-fucking-lations on getting pregnant, Ginny. Hope you enjoy the- the next nine months."

* * *

 _"_ _Hey, it's Ginny. I can't talk right now, but leave a message and I'll come back to you."_

 _BEEP._

"Fuck, Ginny, fuck. I'm so fucking sorry. I- oh God. Harry told me. About the bludger and what happened. And I'm so sorry, shit, it shouldn't have happened. You were supposed to have the baby and be happy and that bludger just- it completely fucked you and I'm babbling, I'm sorry. Fuck, I'm so sorry."

* * *

 _"_ _Hey, it's Ginny. I can't talk right now, but leave a message and I'll come back to you."_

 _BEEP._

"You know, my girlfriend, Ariana. The one I was with for 7 months. That one. She just dumped me because I still have feelings for you. It's been 2 years. And we see each other sometimes, now. Because of Harry. Because your mom still likes me, God knows why and she told you to get over it. But you didn't. And I didn't. And now Ariana left and I'm so pissed. At you, at me, at her, at everything. Sometimes I wish I'd never met you. You completely fucked my whole life with your smiles and the way you used to say my name. God, I wish I could hate you. I really do."

* * *

 _"_ _Hey, it's Ginny. I can't talk right now, but leave a message and I'll come back to you."_

 _BEEP._

"I-"

* * *

 _"_ _Hey, it's Ginny. I can't talk right now, but leave a message and I'll come back to you."_

 _BEEP._

"I don't even know. I don't know what to say. I really don't. Shit. Fuck fuck fuck shit. Goddamnit."

* * *

 _"_ _Hey, it's Ginny. I can't talk right now, but leave a message and I'll come back to you."_

 _BEEP._

"I can't believe the last message you heard of me was that. "I wish I could hate you." Fuck. I- Fuck, Ginny! This wasn't sup-supposed to happen. You weren't supposed to just- to just go like THAT. We were supposed to make up. Start talking again. I had this whole plan. I- I just had to leave you enough messages to get you to yell at me. To call m-me and tell me to fuck off. Then we, we'd be friends again. Fuck it was so stupid. The whole thing was stupid. The calls, the- the messages and the accident. Ginny, please. You can't be gone. You're a fucking witch. You don't die just because- because you slipped down the stairs. That's just stupid. You can't just die like that. You can't."

* * *

 _"_ _Hey, it's Ginny. I can't talk right now, but leave a message and I'll come back to you."_

 _BEEP._

"Your voice. I listen to this every day. The number- it- it's gonna get deleted soon. I think I'm gonna record it, your voice. Yeah, I'm gonna record it. I don't know how. I'll find a way. I just need to hear you. To- to- to feel like you're not really gone. You're not gone. Not in my head. Not in your family's head. I'll call again tomorrow."

* * *

 _"_ _Hey, it's Ginny. I can't talk right now, but leave a message and I'll come back to you."_

 _BEEP._

"I love you, Ginny. I am so totally in love with you, it's unbelievable. I never got to say it to you. I'm sorry it took me so long. _I love you_. I think I always have. First as a friend. Then it just got so, so intense. I had all these crazy feelings around you. All the butterflies they talk about in stupid romance novels, the sweaty palms and the warmth in my chest when you smiled at me. Or just smiled in general. I just wanted to see you smile all the time. I just wanted you to be happy. In a way, I still want you to be happy. Even if you're g-gone. Sorry. I still have trouble saying it. I can't even say the other word, yet. It's too much. But, anyway. I just wanted to say, wherever you are, whether you can hear this or not, I love you. I always will. You were- are my one and only. The love of my life. Even if I wasn't yours. You were- are _it_ for me, Ginny. Always."

* * *

 _I'm sorry; the number you have reached is not in service._


End file.
